Thursday, May 31, 2012

Week 65

Not even sure if I should blog this week. I must admit, I'm getting tired of keeping a weekly journal. But I still want to hit 170, so I think I'll keep blogging weekly until I do.

Not much to report this week. I flat out just didn't seem to care one way or the other. I think my only efforts this week was to watch my portion sizes. But I never made it to Curves and I never worked out on my own. I just couldn't find the energy or motivation. Well, I was going to go to Curves on Tuesday, but I still hurt too much from riding horses the day before.

I know I need to work harder. I know that the last 10 pounds can be the hardest to loose, but somedays I'm just done with trying so hard to be perfect. Its not even really about loosing 10 more pounds, its just about reaching the point where my pants fit comfortably every day. I used to think I needed to be a size 10, but size 12 is fine, except the days when they are tight, which is too often for me.

Maybe I'll just try harder to get to Curves next week.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Week 64

The good news, is one week after the cruise, I was only one pound away from loosing all my cruise weight.

The bad news, its all back. Thank you aunt flo for making my life miserable.

Actually it might be a combo of hormones and my weekend eating habits. I seem to be doing mindless eating sometimes when Josh is home. But its only when he's home. When I'm home alone on Friday's, I don't eat. Maybe a yogurt for breakfast and then I just stay busy with appts. or housework. By the time I realize I'm hungry, Josh is going to be home soon, so I just wait for him so we can eat dinner together.

But then when he's home, I tend to try to keep up with him in eating. He has seconds, so I do too. He asks for dessert, so I make some and have a huge slice with him. So this weekend, my goal is to watch my portion sizes.

Curves was awesome on Monday. I burned 399 calories, only one short of my goal! At least I know its possible.

I have set a final goal weight of 170. I hope I can get there. Its only 13 pounds away. But some days that 13 pounds feels like 100.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Week 63 (also to be know as Post Cruise Week)

I had to add that part to my title, because it has been hard to come off of cruise food. I didn't think I ate a lot, but by lunch every day this week, I was STARVING! And no meal ever felt big enough. And I wanted dessert after each meal. And, I lacked the energy to prepare anything for myself.

Monday night I made some taco mix, but got a little more creative. I think I can thank my diet for that. Usually its just meat and seasoning. But this time I added onion and black beans. It made it so much better. It was just rough having to cook it for myself. Yep, I became spoiled.

Monday I had a HARD time making myself go to Curves. I worry now that the cruise is over, I have no reason to keep loosing weight. I think I have a battle on my hands of getting my mind back into a mental state of eating healthy and staying in this size. But I MADE myself go to Curves and then after that I MADE myself go to the store to get groceries so I could go home and MAKE dinner. I'm glad I did it, I just didn't have a lot of energy. Then I stayed up late trying to get laundry done. Which I didn't.

But Monday is the only day I made it. Tuesday while driving to work, I think I came close to actually dozing off. Not cool. So when I got to work, I grounded myself to an early bedtime. When I got off work, I thought, just 30 mins of Zumba would be ok. But before I could walk all the way to my car, I was yawning. So I came straight home and was in bed by 7:30. It was just what my body needed.

Wednesday I had scrapbook. I used to go to Curves before, but they changed the groups time so now I don't have time after work. And tonight was spent in the wonderful company of the boys and my mom and grandma.

But despite all of this, I've managed to loose half of the weight I gained last week, so no complaints. Its been hard to go back to eating smaller portions, but I think I've adjusted to that again.

One thing I don't miss about the cruise is the stairs. :p I'm still amazed that I never rode the elevator. But really, those stairs probably helped keep me from gaining 10 pounds.

I'm relieved that hopefully everything big is over for the year. I'm done with stress. I'm done with hoping things go perfectly. No more trying to loose "just 5 more pounds" before this and that event. Now I can just try and go back to a calm and even pace. And get back to Curves full time.


Monday, May 14, 2012

Week 62 (Also to be know as Cruise Week)

Even though our vacation was 10 days long, I'm going to count it as one week. Then this next week will just be short.

Overall, I am impressed with myself and how I did on the cruise. There was a few nights when I pigged out by ordering 2 appetizers or 2 desserts, but I think I only did that in the upgraded restaurants. I think. There was a ton of food and I forget what I ate where. But I only remember two nights where I thought, man, I shouldn't have eaten so much. 

Exercising! I did something every single day. Go me! I feel in love with the treadmill. I need to get me one of those! Unfortuanetly, about 4 days in, I hurt my knee (on the treadmill, but I still want one). I did NOT let that slow me down. I put 110% into getting the most out of each excursion. The first day it hurt was when we went to Juneau. But I wanted to see the Mendenhall Glacier up close, so I did the hike. Then I soaked my knee in ice that night. 

It was hard to get in the exercise room because it was always full. Josh exercised with me every day. We tried getting up at 5:45 each morning to be first on the machines and that worked well until I hurt my knee. Then if it was busy when we went, we just made sure to do lots of walking on the ship and the excursions. 

And I do mean lots of walking. When we stepped onto the ship, the elevators were busy. So I decided the stairs would be faster. (Sometimes they were; it depended on how many flights and how busy it was.) So as Josh and I took the stairs, we committed to never using the elevator. The only time we used an elevator was when we went to the space needle. And we might have thought about the stairs, but the elevator was the only option. We were on deck 8, but a lot of the stuff we did was on deck 12 or 13, so we did a lot of stairs. I wish I had kept count. But on the average day, I bet we went up and down 4 flights of stairs at LEAST 3 times, but probably more. 

I did gain about 5 pounds. But since I was at a low before leaving, all it did was set me back to my regular average weight I've been running the last few months. 

Overall, I'm very impressed with myself. I bought some professional pictures that Josh didn't like (cause they made him take his boots off). But I told him since they are the first professional pictures we've done since I lost all the weight, I deserve them. 

Now to get back to real life.

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Week 61

My measurements at Curves weren't due for another week, but I decided to do them a week early rather then do them after the Cruise. First I've listed the last months measurements.

My measurements on 4/9/12.
Bust 40.75
Waist 32.75
Abdomen 36.5
Hip 42.75
Thigh 26.00
Arm 12.25
Weight 179.8 (lbs.)
BMI 30.85
Body Fat % 35.00
Body Fat 62.91

My measurements on 5/2/12.
Bust   39.50
Waist 32.00
Abdomen 36.00
Hip 42.50
Thigh 26.00
Arm 12.25
Weight 179.00 (lbs.)
BMI 30.72
Body Fat % 35.00
Body Fat 65.65

Results
Bust   -1.25
Waist -.75
Abdomen -.50
Hip -.25
Thigh -0.00
Arm - 0.00
Weight - .80 (lbs)
BMI -.13
Body Fat % 0.00
Body Fat -.26
Curves adds all the results together for a total loss of -2.75 inches and -.80 (lbs.). So that means since starting Curves, I have lost a total of -4.50 inches and -3.80 (lbs.)

Couple thoughts. I want to get my bust remeasured. Each time I've had my measurements done, its been by a different person; I don't think they are all doing it the same. I was complaining to my sister last night that I don't want to loose in my bust area and she made a good point. It could be the fat under my arms. But -1.25 just doesn't feel right. I thought that last night and should have had them do it then, but I didn't. But I just don't feel like its right. I don't think I'll be back before the cruise so it just might have to wait.

I'm trying to not be discouraged, but it just feels so slow lately. I saw big results most of last year, and now it feels like my weight loss has slowed down to a crawl and its driving me nuts. But some loss is better then no loss. Even if I don't count my bust results, I still lost -1.50 inches. Hopefully after the cruise, life can get completely back to normal and I can get a routine going. Its been hard so far this year with wedding stuff and then my mom in the hospital. But after the cruise, I don't see anything getting in my way.

To encourage myself, I did have a thought the other day. Josh was watching an infomercial about Insanity (a work out video set). They kept saying how you could loose a years worth of weight in just 2 months; you can loose 30 pounds in just 2 months. Thirty pounds is a years worth of work? Go me, I lost 60 pounds in roughly 10 months. Granted it took me a lot longer then 2 months, but it made me feel good to think that I lost 2 years worth in just 1 year. Which I am grateful for. I don't want to think about myself 30 pounds ago.

Cruise. It has me so stressed. But in the same breathe, I am SO ready for a vacation. But since hearing that most people gain an average of 9 pounds on a cruise, the stress has gone back up. I'm thinking about making a poster to take with me and taping it to the mirror. Maybe a before and after shot with the words "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." Just something to remind myself I'm not there to eat, I'm there to relax and see Alaska. I'm going to be trying my first drink there (this is a big deal for me), and I'm excited. But I know drinks have a lot of empty calories so I almost talk myself out of it. But no, I want to try a few things. And I know I have to eat to help with absorption (Josh has been educating me so I don't make a fool of myself), so I'll have to eat. I just need to remember to watch my portions.

Over Thanksgiving and Christmas, I lost weight and I thought that was huge. Most people gain weight during the holidays. But not me, I managed to reach my lowest weight ever. Even though I have a HARD time staying at that weight, I was so proud of myself. Which by the way, I am finally back to! This morning the scale said 178.6. I love you 178's. I could almost wish for one more week to get a little lower before the cruise, but I've gone from counting days to counting hours. I NEED this vacation. So I'll just try to not gain during the cruise. Then I like said, when we get back, its time to get back into the groove of things.

I now own a little black dress! Its not super fancy, but its still a slightly sexy, black dress. I can't wait for our dress up night to wear it. I made Josh come in the store (horror of horrors!) to look at it and he loved it too.

Wish me luck this coming week. I keep telling myself I will exercise every day. I'm hoping for at least an hour a day. I can't get any one else to fully commit, but I will do it!

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

I feel fat this week and its driving me nuts cause the cruise is just days away. I keep telling myself its just the mental fat stuck inside my head, but I swear my stomach is bigger and my face is rounder.

Deep breath, its okay. You're down 60 pounds from what you were when you started your diet a year ago.

In a weird turn of events, I ended up working in an outer area office today; one I haven't worked in from YEARS. A lady came into that I haven't seen in years and the first thing she said was, "wow, you look amazing. You've lost weight, haven't you?"

See, it is all in my head today.

Maybe I'm stressed because my mom mentioned that most people gain about 9 pounds on a cruise. 9 pounds! (I can hear H screaming at me right now "its not a big deal.") But my pants are already tight. I've never fit into this size as well as I would like too. I think after 5 pounds, I would have to go up a size. If I'm stuck on a ship in the middle of the ocean, that is really not an option for me. I'm already packing enough clothes, I don't want to pack pants in the next size up for just in case. I NEED to exercise every day on the ship just to maintain so my clothes will fit the next day. As of now, Josh is saying he will exercise with me, so hopefully it will really happen. And not let my stomach think it can eat more then it needs to. I'm so nervous and excited for this cruise all at once.

K, that's enough for now. I'm doing my measurements at Curves tomorrow because I'd rather do them before the cruise instead of after. So I'll post more on Thursday. And hopefully feel better about myself. I am beautiful. Just keep repeating that.

And on a completely different side note: I HATE the new blogger. Hopefully their search engines pick that up. I switched back to the old, but then saw notice that the old interface will be deleted at the end of the month, so I switched back to the new in hopes of learning to like it. Nope, still hate it. I hate change.