Thursday, July 25, 2013

Week 124

I already covered a lot of things in my other post, but still wanted to do a weekly check in since Thursday's are my official weigh in days.

This morning, 181.2.

Yesterday was probably my worse day, or I might have done better this week. But I was just too tempted by my home made scones. But on the positive side, I did make them smaller this time. I usually make them huge so there is less to cook, but this time, I used a biscuit cutter to size them. But still, I had one with honey while they were still cooking. Then 2 with chili. Then another 1 with honey. Which, honestly, is what I always eat when I make scones. But this time they were smaller so I don't feel as bad.

I keep seesawing on the 5K run this weekend. My last excuse (well besides "I don't wanna!") was that I have no way to run with my iphone aka, my iTunes. I've been putting my phone in my back pocket, but I have to stop SEVERAL times to catch my pants from falling off. I can't run a race like that! So today, I went to 4 different places and finally found an armband that will hold my phone. I'm excited to try it out tomorrow and see how I like it.

So I'm out of excuses to avoid the 5K. Josh is doing the 8 miles run, which means I'll have about an hour to kill. I might as well do the other race to take up that time. I'm really hoping they'll let me run with Sage cause I'm taking her. I guess she will be my last excuse. If they say no to her, I won't have anyone to watch her so I'll have no choice. But I can't walk her early in the morning AND do the race. So I guess we'll see. Its Altamont, so hopefully they won't care.

I'm thinking of taking a picture in my sports bar to help me remember I'm fighting to loose the bulge around my middle.

Until next week!

A Few Things

So there is a few things I want to expand on.

1- I've told a few people I rejoined Weight Watchers and have felt like they are throwing me into the category of: lost it but didn't keep it off. I hate that. I've worked so hard to not be one of those people.

I'm only up 7 pounds. Not even a pant size; I'm still in the same size I've been wearing since my lowest point.

This is about me pushing to be my best and to loose a little more. Not super model skinny, just not quite so round in the middle. I love how I looked, most of the time. But I want to feel sexy even when I'm naked.

I know people who loose and gain and loose and gain and loose and gain. I don't want to be like that. This is a life time commitment I've made to myself. But also, I can see who that happens to people. Some days it is so HARD. I'll have an occasional shake for dinner and it tastes so good that I'll want one every night. This spring, I discovered salt & vinegar chips and I tried to make up for a lifetime of never having them.

The point is, I'm human. I can mess up. Its up to me to let it be a slight slip or a big fall off candy mountain. I love food. I love it when I need comfort. Or to celebrate. Or to just catch up with friends. I just have to work on my self discipline and control.

2- Weight Watchers screws with my relationship with food. Before, I would try to earn enough activity points to cancel out at least one (or two) of my meals. Often, I would even skip lunch so I could walk and earn more points. Or I'd eat lots and lots of fruits because they were free points, but let that be an entire meal. I never touched my weekly points.

Sorry, for those not familiar with the system. Each week you get x amount of points. I think my high end was 36, right now it is 28 (which I think is the lowest they go). This changes based on your weekly weight in. Then you also get 49 extra points each week, so you can splurge or whatever. Each week starts fresh, you can't roll over any extras. Like I said, I rarely, if ever, dipped into mine and I don't recall ever using them all up in one week. Last, you can also earn extra points by being active. I'm still logging my activity points because I like to show I'm exercising, but I'm not skipping lunch to earn even more.

This time around, I am making sure I eat all of my daily points and sticking to my regular workout (which is currently walking the dog). No trying to sneak in extra activity points. And if I reach the end of my daily points, I don't stop eating or run out and exercise for extra. Weakly points are not my enemy, they are there to catch me. I'm not using them daily, but I've tipped into them a few times. My emotional self tries to freak out, but I won't let it.

So why did I rejoin Weight Watchers if it messes with me like that. Because its a system that I believe works. Portion control is one of my BIGGEST pitfalls. This helps me keep my portions in perspective. It also helps me choose between French fries or a salad.

3- I'm also trying to remember this about creating a better me overall, not just how I look. So I'm working hard to be nicer to coworkers, keep my house in a clean fashion and get along better with family. Because lets face it, I'm not perfect, but I want to be.


4- And because I have severe OCD, I figured it out. This is week 124 since I started my weight loss journey. Which makes me feel better about the first thing I mentioned in this post. Now I can just title them with that number instead of starting over with 1.

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

New Start: Week 1

After seeing 183 on the scale, I decided to rejoin Weight Watchers.

Several points I want to make.

1- My lowest weight ever (well since starting my weight loss journey) was 169. But let's be honest, I was SICK that week. Once I recovered, I went back to 173.

2- My average low (that I seemed to be able to hold) was 175. But I haven't seen that number in months.

3- Seeing 180 on the scale makes me feel fat. 170 doesn't make me feel skinny, but also, not fat. This is for me personally and I know each person is different.

4- I've tried off and on to be good, but I feel like I need some kind of accountability. Curves has reopened, but I never loved the place, so for now, I've decided to not rejoin. But rumor is Zumba will be starting soon and I LOVED that. So I might see if I can just do Zumba. If not, well, I guess I'll have to decide then.

5- I've tried the free food counter/diet websites, but none of them are as good as Weight Watchers. I've heard people complain that Weight Watchers changed right around the first of the year, but so far, I can't see that many differences.

6- With a smart phone, I can take advantage of the apps! Just downloaded the WW scanner. LOVE it!

7- The only exercise I've been consistent with is walking the dog. But we do it almost daily. (I did finally tell Josh he has to take Sunday so I can have one day to sleep in.) On work days, we get up at 4 AM (so much for sleeping in after we moved). But I'd much rather do it then, then try to after work when it is so #$^$#$ hot! On days off, I'm still up by 6 AM just to avoid the heat. We sold our exercise bike when we moved, so right now, walking is about all I'm getting. But some mornings, I run half of my walk too.

8- I'm done letting PCOS be a crutch for me. Even when I started this journey, I didn't dare set a goal. I'm still not sure what my body can realistically achieve, but I do believe I can loose some more weight. It'll be hard. I feel like I'll have to work harder then I ever did before. But this is something I want for me, so I'm going to do it.

9- I'm not freaking out about gaining 10 pounds. I'm just trying to get back into it before that number goes up even more.

10- My biggest weight loss to date is 66, but right now it is only 57 pounds.

11- Right now, my goal is 160. So 20 pounds from what I saw on the scale this morning. Also, I want to loose one more pant size.

12- I'm remembering that WW made me feel almost anorexic some days. But so far, I've made sure to eat all my points every day.

I can cover more on these later, but lunch break is over and I need to get back to work. I just wanted to start a list to work on as I go.