Week 12

Sorry, this is a little late. Week 12 was fine. It was the start of week 13 that got to me. But first, week 12. Hmmm, the only thing I really remember is its fun to have weigh in day the day after the stomach flu. But even then, I knew it would be too good to be true. :p Once I got back on a regular eating schedule I went up, but just a little bit so its ok.

So the drama.... I still continue to have a love hate relationship with WW website. Last Thursday I decided to post on the message boards. I really REALLY want to loose 10 pounds within the next 3 weeks. I'm so close to be under 200 and I want that to happen SOON. So I posted that and got told to eat well and bump up my exercise. Ok, I can do that.

Then I got reading through other people post and I started to notice something. I am the ONLY person who doesn't use their weekly points and also the ONLY person that doesn't use their daily points. I have 33 points, and during the week days (aka, work days) I use like 20 of points. I didn't think it was a big deal. So I posted and asked "Do you really need to use all your daily points?" I also gave a brief description of how I do eat on work days. Breakfast: Smoothie Lunch: Lettuce & Carrots Dinner: Cereal. What a blood bath! I was in tears. EVERYONE thought I was insane. EVERYONE questioned my judgement and if I'm getting enough nutrients. And just about all of them were mean about it. Seriously, 40 comments in one lady said "hey guys, be nice or you'll scare her away."

She was right. They did. At that point I was chatting with my cousin in near tears. She struggled with anorexia and bulimia when she was younger, so I felt like I could better trust her opinion. In a much nicer way, she expressed some of the same concerns. Where do I get my protein? I then had to admit how dumb I am, I don't know what is rich in protein.That is why I eat a FRUIT smoothie for breakfast (with spinach), a VEGETABLE salad for lunch and cereal with MILK for dinner. No, I don't feel like I'm tired all day. No, I don't think I'm missing anything important. No, I don't feel like I'm starving between meals. But YES, I'm seeing the results I want.

She encouraged me to add some meat or cheese to my lunch. And maybe not eat cereal every night. On the message board, they kept chewing me out telling me that its just as hard/easy to cook for one as it is for several people. But I disagree. I do NOT like to cook for myself. It reminds me I'm cooking for just my self. I cook when Josh is home so he can have a decent meal. I'm perfectly fine with cereal. Shoot, that is when I have the hardest time with portion control.

But I'm still really struggling with this. I've been on this diet just over 2 months and I've already lost 26 pounds. I'm not going to complain about that. I don't want to change things. I started eating this way because I was stuck at 223, and I was sick of seeing that number on my scale day after day. I don't think I'm melting off the pounds, but I don't want to go back to slowly loosing just ONE pound every FEW weeks.

That night I was so guilt ridden I ate and entire box of mac n cheese. Then I felt so guilty about it. Apparently I still can eat when depressed. I want to listen to my friend because I do value her opinion. But then I think about all those meanies and I want to tell them they are just jealous and eat even less.

I did buy some sandwich fixing and I've eaten that a few nights instead. But I think I could get bored with sandwiches pretty quick. So I guess for now, the only thing I'm willing to change is I'm going to take have a few slices of cheese with my lunch and maybe I'll throw in a few more veggies like bell peppers or something. And I'll try to eat sandwiches for dinner instead of cereal. But I already know, that if I don't keep seeing these results, I'll just go back to what I was doing.

Which brings up a whole different issue. Those meanies kept telling me to quit dieting and just change my lifestyle. Apparently MY definition of diet is different then theirs. To me, a lifestyle change, at my current weight, would have meant, eating better just to not gain more weight. BUT, I want to loose a lot of weight so I DIET. I choose WW because I knew they would guide me along the way so I could make the lifestyle changes I will need so my diet works long time and I won't ever have to diet again. But NO, according to them a DIET is a quick fix and will never work.

I don't believe that. I am committed. I guess that can't see that online, but in my heart, I am committed.

Well, that is pretty much the update on Week 13 too, but I'll check again at the end of the week to finish up on week 13. This holiday weekend probably set me back so I'm going to work extra hard the next few days.