I'm feeling slightly better this morning. The scale finally shows me under 190. Not by much, but it was what I needed to remind me why I'm doing this diet. I'm doing it so I can feel better about myself. It would have been a nice bonus to be able to find a costume this year, but I'll survive. I'm doing this diet so I can be pretty inside and out. I'm exercising so I can walk and not get out of breathe. I'm doing  so I can have more energy and be more healthy. I'm doing it so hopefully my PCOS symptoms won't be so bad.  I'm doing it so I can shop on the regular side of clothing stores. I'm doing this because for years I didn't care about my body, when I should have. It has been hard, but it has been so worth it.

I forgot to mention something in my last week update post. When talking to my doctor, I asked him what is a realistic goal to shoot for. I suddenly can't remember the mathematical way he told me, but he said for me, 145 is about average. At first, I was like "Yikes" that only puts me half way there. But that is the number I've had in the back of my head for a long time now. I was going to aim for 150, but I like to have a "cushion". Like when I was finally under 200 pounds, I didn't really count it until I was at 196 because I wanted enough distance that I knew I'd never get back above 200. So with a goal of 150, I was already thinking 145 so I could not stress about seeing 152 on the scale one morning. It probably sounds ridiculous, but that is how my mind plays it out. For another example, even thought the scale said 189.8, I won't relax until it says 186. Its just a difference of a few pounds, but to me, its a huge difference.