Week 57

I went back to Curves on Monday, even though I wasn't feeling well. I was going to skip going, missing one more day couldn't hurt too much, right? But in the end, I decided to buckle down and get back with it. I hadn't been in 2 weeks. It was so hard! I hate it when I get out of shape. Then I did Zumba on Tuesday, I really like it on Tuesday's w/ the easier lady to follow. The Thursday girl is way too fast for a beginner like me. Then last night I finally felt back into it again. I rocked it! On Monday, I only burned 243 calories, but last night I burned 368, so that was a vast improvement. Its time for my measurements so I set those up for Monday to give me a week to get back on track. I'm nervous and excited at the same time. I think the day I joined Curves was the day I had to go back up a size, so I know I'll at least weigh a little less.

I've been trying not to stress so much. I was so stressed before the wedding trying to loose weight, but I think it sabotaged my efforts. So I'm trying to not stress about loosing anything before the cruise. I even went ahead and started buying new clothes for the cruise. I feel like I have a real wardrobe again! I love all my new pretty clothes. Sorry Dress Barn, but Maurice's is my new favorite store.

I've been trying to accept I may not loose any more weight. I set a goal, but always tried to tell myself to also listen to my body. I haven't completely accepted it, but I'm working on it. I have also spent all week telling myself my arms are beautiful. The three things I wish I could still shrink are my arms, thighs and stomach. Each time I see them, especially in the nude, all I think is I hate my body. But I'm trying to not do that anymore. I'm working on it one part at a time, so right now my arms. I'm trying to reshape the mental image in my head that I always see instead of the image in the mirror. I think its working cause I haven't hated my arms so much this week.

Here's the drum roll part. The other night while putting away laundry, I decided to leave out all the shirts I plan to take on the cruise so I can figure out if I need anymore (which I could probably be fine, but I would like 2-3 more if I can find ones I like). We've decided as a group, to do a dress up night. So I briefly dug to the back of the closet and found an old high school dance dress. I decided to try it on.

Here's a picture from when I wore the dress to the Winter Ball. I forgot to look in my scrapbook to see when it was, but I'm pretty sure it was in January 2000.

And here is the picture of me wearing the dress 12 years later. The buttons over the bust would not stay shut. Every time I moved, they popped open. So I'm not sure I'll actually wear it on the cruise (even though Josh is fine with it that way), but it felt so good to be able to fit into one of my all time favorite dresses. It even made me think about making an appearance in church, just so when people commented on my dress, I could say "oh, this old thing? I wore it while in high school." I posted a picture of it on face book and I love what my sister said. I had said something about the extra curves making it hard to keep the buttons shut. Vanessa commented "I'm so proud of you! And the extra curves just means that you are a woman now instead of a girl, which I would also consider to be an accomplishment."