Week 69

"If it is improtant to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse." LOVE this quote my sister posted on facebook! So true in many aspect of life, but for me, this is where I can apply it most to my life.

For the last few months, I have been a slacker at Curves. Well, a slacker at everything. But I've gotten my butt back in gear in the last two weeks, but especially so this week. Still, that slacking had a negative effect. Hence the wearing of the fat pants leading to me recommitting myself to this diet. I've been out of the fat pants all week, but my regular pants are still pretty tight.

This week, I decided to bite the bullet and do my Curves weigh in. I KNEW I would not like the results. But I couldn't hide from them. I did this to myself, I can blame no one else. The better I eat and the more I exercise, the better I feel and the better my clothes fit. When I don't eat well and be lazy, well, those positive results I had are just going to go the other way. I've been in Curves many times and heard people say they are going to skip their weigh in cause they know they've gone up. HELLO, skipping it doesn't do you any good. Face up to yourself and be accountable. Maybe seeing those numbers will be what you need to get back and work hard. So when J reminded me it was time to do my weigh in, I only hestitated for a second. Sure I could avoid it for a few weeks while I get back in shape, but I don't want to be that kind of person who tries to pretend nothing is wrong, or if I avoid its not real.

My measurements on 5/2/12.
Bust 39.50
Waist 32.00
Abdomen 36.00
Hip 42.50
Thigh 26.00
Arm 12.25
Weight 179.00 (lbs.)
BMI 30.72
Body Fat % 35.00
Body Fat 65.65

My measurements on 6/27/12.
Bust   39.50
Waist 33.00
Abdomen 36.00
Hip 42.50
Thigh 26.50
Arm 12.50
Weight 183.50 (lbs.)
BMI 31.49
Body Fat % 35.40
Body Fat 64.96

Results
Bust -0.00
Waist - +1.00
Abdomen -0.00
Hip -0.00
Thigh - +1.00
Arm - +.50
Weight - +4.50 (lbs)
BMI - +0.77
Body Fat % +.40
Body Fat - +2.31
Curves adds all the results together for a total gain of 2.50 inches and +4.50 (lbs.). So that means since starting Curves, I have lost a total of -2.00 inches and -.80 (lbs.)

I am determined that my next weigh in will look much better.

Here's my weekly log. It really has helped me watch my eating very well. I made it a personal goal to eat a fruit or veggie with every meal and did just that. :)

Thursday - Got up at 4 AM to do an hour on my exercise bike. I did just over 13 miles. Now I can go play tonight. ;)
Breakfast was coffee (a thermos and a half since I got up early) and a bagel with cream cheese. Around 10:00, I snacked on some grapes and drank a glass of water. Lunch was a salad (prebag mix with turkey, cheese, craisins, and crutons added) with snap peas and another glass of water. After lunch, I had a mint. Afternoon snack was the last few grapes I didn't eat this morning and a bag of cherries. I finished off another glass of water then had a diet coke about an hour later. Dinner was at Wendy's. I haven't been in YEARS. I remembered they had a southwestern salad I really liked, but they don't anymore. They have something similar, but I would have had to say hold half the stuff off of it and then it would have been almost like my lunch. So instead I order the chicken nugget combo. Then I didn't allow myself to super size anything. Small fries, small drink, small shake. After I finished my drink, I filled the cup back up with water. Surprisingly, its now 11:30 and I'm still up. I thought with getting up at 4 AM, I would have crashed hours ago. I'll admit I'm tired, but not anything like I thought I would be. Makes me want to exercise in the early morning more often. Maybe not daily, but still worth keeping in mind when I want to play at night.

I dressed up today simply because I felt like it. I've noticed I do that more often. I don't know what was different today, but for the FIRST time a coworker made a comment about it. I told her I just felt like it and pointed out that I've been doing it once a week or so. But I didn't want to go to Vernal in my skirt, so after work, I changed into shorts, which got more raised eyes and comments from her and someone else. I just said, "my weekend starts now," and left it at that. I love having a body I'm comfortable in. And it was HOT so I'm glad I went with the shorts.

Friday - This is MY day. Sometimes I stay up late Thursday either hanging out with friends  or cleaning house or whatever. I'm a night owl, but Josh isn't. So after staying up late, I sleep in on Friday. Josh has even started just texting me good morning so he doesn't wake me. I woke up around 8 AM, but even then, it takes me about another hour to "wake up". But it doesn't matter, cause its my day. Breakfast was 2 mangos cut up and coffee. By 10, it was already HOT, so I'm still deciding what I'll do for my exercise today. I also realized last night, I haven't planned any meals for this weekend and that could hurt my diet. I need to plan weekends out better. I also jumped on the scale this morning. Eating out makes me nervous, but I've worked to overcome my fear of some foods. Getting a small combo paid off, my weight is the same as yesterday.

Lunch was a spur of the moment picnic with Vanessa and the boys. I let her be in charge and I knew I had no worries because she is eating well too. She made us each a salad. Then she had a variety of other stuff. I ate cherries, peas, caramel rice cakes, a string cheese, a fruit drink. I might have missed something, but it was all healthy. After the picnic, we went to the splash park. On the drive home, I ate the rest of the cherries and finished my fruit drink. Dinner was the leftover taco meat over some Doritos with some pepperjack cheese. I also had a Mike's Hard Limeade and a glass of water. My exercise, well, lets call it low intense. I chased Valex around the park and the splash park. Then took a hike out the field to check on the horses. 

Saturday - Breakfast was a cup of coffee, a bagel w/ cream cheese and a bowl of frosted mini wheats. Then I took a nap (guess I got up too early). After I woke up, I had the rest of my coffee, which was only about half a mug. Lunch was 3 clementines, a large handful of snap peas and some cheddar cheese with a glass of water. That afternoon, I did 2 hours on my exercise bike and went 29 miles. Dinner was meatloaf and potatoes with a few cherries for dessert.

Sunday - I had a cup of coffee. Then breakfast was a tator tot breakfast casserole with three glasses of milk. I was pleased to get on the scale this morning. This is the first time in a LONG time when the scale has gone down on the weekend, instead of up. We didn't eat breakfast until about 11, so it threw the whole day off. I ate lunch around 3 which was meatloaf and snap peas and a glass of water. I have noticed, I don't drink much water when I'm home on the weekends. I have a special cup at work that I try to fill at least 3 times a day; I told Josh I'm going to get a second one to use at home. Its one of those really nice plastic cups with a straw and a lid. Around 5, we suddenly decided to go fishing, so my exercise ended up only being the walk from the truck to the lake, which was kinda far since the water is so LOW this year. When we got home, I was tired and lazy, so I just had a bowl of cereal for dinner.

Monday - Breakfast was coffee and 4 clementines. Lunch was a salad. I had an afternoon snack of a bag of cherries. At this point, I think I'm up to 4 glasses of water. Its a hot day and I've drank a lot of water. Dinner was some of the left over breakfast tator tot casserole. I forgot to go to the store after work to stock up on fresh produce. But I dug around in my cupboards and found some green beans to go with my dinner.
Exercise :) I walked on both my breaks and went to Curves. I'm still behind where I used to be there, but I'm working at getting back up to where I used to be. They are running a summer program and I committed to it. You set your own goals. I decided: Curves at least 3 times a week, walk 30 mins a day at least 4 times a week, and eat more fruits and veggies. I feel good about my self and recommitting to the body I want. I did have to laugh when one of the workers saw my goals. Most people set a goal to walk so many steps, but I chose to set a time limit instead. So when she first read it, she read it as 30 steps. I told her "Yep, I figure that is just enough to get from the parking lot and in here and back again." I think she wanted to call me lazy, but then I laughed and explained that it was 30 mins. a day.

Tuesday - I woke up about 3:55. I looked at the clock, thought about exercising, but rolled over. Five minutes later, Gaby was attacking my fingers. I decided, what the heck, just get up and exercise. So by 5:15 I had an hour on my exercise bike. :) I also drank a glass of water. Today, I had a dr. appt. to look at some warts, including one on my upper leg, so I wore a dress. I haven't worn this dress in like 7 years! Feels good. And actually, its a little big, so got to enjoy it while I can. I also decided, that afternoon, that I WANT to go to Curves, even though I rode my bike. So I'm doing that today too. ;)

Breakfast was coffee and a bagel w/ cream cheese. Around 10, I snacked on some clementines I had peeled earlier this morning and had a glass of water. Lunch was a salad with some snap peas on the side and a glass of water. I did make it to Curves and had a great workout. Dinner was going to be Subway, but everywhere in town thinks they need to close early, so instead it was Arby's. I had a chicken sandwich and a large jalepono bite with 2 glasses of water. Next time I will get a small jalepon bite cause I felt guilty the next day for that splurge.

Wednesday - Since I was out late last night, I got up at 4:30 this morning (I was too tired to shower last night). I'm dragging, hopefully I'll make it to bed early tonight. Breakfast was coffee and 4 clementines. Around 10, I was getting shaky (I think I have blood sugar issues sometimes). As I mentioned, no groceries meant no prepacked snacks. Someone had put donuts in the break room, so I decided to have one cake donut and some water. Lunch was a salad and a large diet coke (4 AM wakeup calls are getting to me). Dinner was meat loaf and the rest of the grean beans and a Exotic Berry drink.

Walked on both my 15 min. breaks. and made it to Curves where we did the weigh in I posted at the first of this post. I admitted to J I thought about sluffing my weigh in appt because I knew I wouldn't be happy with myself, but I knew it would only hurt me. We talked about how its important to not let it get out of control. Its better if I realize I've gained a few pounds and get back to work vs. ignorning it for a long time until you suddenly realize you've gained 20+ pounds. I love Curves and how they are committed to helping me. We also went over my results for the contest and I was able to add a petal to my flower and a W (for workouts) as my grass. They also have a bucket of water that you remove slips from for drinking water. Then the other big thing is a life size poster of a lady on the wall. As you loose weight, you get to pull a slip of paper off. A few people have done this and it looks like a skinny woman will be revealed underneath. I can't wait until I get to pull a few off. ;)

I wish I could find a loving and kind way to tell my loved ones I wish they would join me on this journey. Sometimes I think I come off a bit harsh. But I've had to be harsh with self to make it this far. I KNOW its not easy to exercise. I work 10 hours a day with a 45 min commute (and that's just one way) on top of that. So I'm basically away from home half the day. It is hard to find time, but even 30 mins is better then nothing. And I will admit, I LOVE food. LOVE it! I am a foodie through and through. But I've been able to cut back and make healthy choices and that has all lead to good results. I'm not starving all the time. The first few months is diffently the hardest. I was out of shape and my stomach was stretched way to big. (So maybe there was a few times I thought I was starving.) But the body is an amazing thing and it adapts so well. At first, it seems like a lot of work. It seems downright impossible. There has been so many times I've wanted to give up, throw in the towel and eat a large bowl of chocolate icecream. But I didn't. I pushed through it. Now it doesn't seem as hard. Plus, for me, exercising lifts my mood. I am more upbeat and positive on the days I work out. I think it has all helped make me a better person. You are the only one that can make this happen. Do it to be thinner. Do it to be healthier. Do it so you can play with kids without getting tired so easily or be able to hike and enjoy the outdoors. Do it so that hopefully in the future you won't have a big and scary health scare. There is so many reasons.

I am feeling much better about myself this week. It feels good to be working on myself again.

Just reading through a post I wrote last year when we got my horse. I mentioned having to get her lined up with a rock, just so I can get on.

This year, I have been able to get on her without a rock. Just another way that shows how much this weight loss and getting shape has helped me. I'm still as short as I was a year ago, but my body has more flexibility so I am able to do stuff I couldn't before.

Also, I've had to go check on the horses every night this week. I used to hate walking out to the field and having to find them. Now, I don't mind it at all. I LOVE being in shape. Just another thing that proves my hard work is paying off. I look better, but most importantly, I FEEL better.

Also, I need to get a picture of me on Sugar this year so I can compare it to last year. I think at this time last year, I had only lost 25-30 pounds. Now I'm at 60 pounds lost. Can't wait to compare pictures.

Week 68

On Wednesday, I decided to start tracking my meals. So I'm going to try and log in each day and make a quick note of what I ate that day and keep a running list to publish each Thursday. To start, I only tried to remember back to Monday, but I'll do better from here on out. I hope it will help me better watch what I eat on the weekends. I don't think I'll keep a detailed record, just a quick summary.

Monday - Breakfast was cherries and yogurt with coffee. I now can't remember what I had for lunch....That night, I made up a patch of taco meat. I even had dessert, the two complementary mints the pharmacy gave me. ;)

I didn't make it Curves, instead I went to the chiropractor. BUT I walked on BOTH my breaks, even though the wind was HOWLING. Then when I got home, I got on my exercise bike for an hour. So I still got my exercise in.
Monday I did my grocery shopping. I didn't have a list, but I stayed in the produce section for the most part. I was hungry, but I let that push me towards the fruits. That is when I came up with my new theme: "Hungry? There's a fruit for that." I picked a good time to fall back in love with fruits, cherries are in season right now and I have already gone through 2 bags in about 10 days.
Tuesday - Breakfast was a Ziploc bag of grapes with coffee. Lunch was a salad. When I started my diet, a salad meant iceberg lettuce with carrots. That was it. I've gotten fancier. This salad started out as a prebag mix, but then I added turkey, craisins, crutons (my one splurge on my salads), almonds and cheese. For those who don't know me, I hate salad dressing; I've been told that is a blessing when it comes to dieting. I also had a bag of cherries. Dinner was tacos with a strawberry daiquiri drink.
When it came time to get off work and go to Curves, I had to force myself. It was hot. It was windy. I DID walk on my breaks (in the warehouse because of that #$**# wind). I didn't feel like going to Zumba, but also I didn't want to wait for it to end and go afterwards. I was coming up with EVERY excuse in the book. But I knew if I didn't go, I would regret it the next day. So I ran an errand and then headed over. I was going to change while Zumba finished out. Turns out, they are doing Zumba in the mornings right now. So missing Curves because I didn't want to do Zumba would have been the LAMEST excuse and it was the one I almost went with. Yep, I would have really regretted not going, so glad I did.
Curves is starting a contest this summer with a promotion to join Curves Complete at a discount. I'm interested, but I'm trying to pinch pennies where I can so we can get our card paid off before we buy a house. So, as you can see, I'm trying to keep my own eating journal.  I'm not going to log in each time I drink a glass of water. But I'll try to keep everything else accounted for. (That's why I haven't caved and bought a huge bag of skittles this week.)
Tuesday night, I got to bed a little late (I was too busy enjoying a book to go to bed.) So I ended up in bed about an hour later then I wanted to. Just as I was going to bed, I remembered I wanted to wake up early the next morning and ride my exercise bike because my scrapbook group was the next day. I tossed and turned for a minute, trying to decide. Problem is, when I plan to get up early, I don't sleep well. I lay there and just tell myself "go to sleep. You have to go to sleep NOW." I end up working myself into a tizzy and then I end up with very little sleep. Since I was already up later then I planned, I decided to just get up at 5:15 like I normally do.
Wednesday - I woke up at 4:40 because I was cold. When I looked at the clock, I was mad. I hate waking up so shortly before the alarm. Not enough time to get a little more sleep, but too early still to get up. Then I remembered my debate the night before. I had originally thought about getting up at 4:00 so I could do an hour. I decided since I was awake, I would do at least 30 mins since that is better then nothing at all. I was glad I had packed my lunch the night before because it gave me just the extra time I needed to do 30 mins. By 5:00 that morning, I was already proud of myself. :) Later that day, I also made sure to walk on both my breaks. It was glorious - the wind wasn't blowing!
By Wednesday, I was still wearing my fat pants (aka, one size up), but they were were much looser.

Breakfast was a bagel with cream cheese and coffee. About an hour before lunch I was hungry, so I had half a ziploc bag of grapes. Lunch was the same salad as Tuesday, except at the bottom of the premixed stuff, I found a bunch of snap peas, so I broke those up into smaller pieces and mixed them in better. I also finished the bag of grapes I had started earlier.

Dinner was, well, not the best thought out. I mentioned scrapbook group. We each take a turn to host, which basically means you bring food. Some people go ALL out, they make soup, rolls, desserts, side salads, the works. Last night, was not that case. I had planned on there being some good food to count as dinner. The lady had brought crackers (with dips I don't like), carrots, grapes, mini cupcakes and oatmeal raisin cookies. I took a few crackers, a handful of carrots, a large handful of grapes and one cookie. Then I had one more cookie before leaving. After group, I had to run up to the in-laws to take care of the horses, so I ate some snap peas while I drove. I didn't get home until 9:30. At that point, I decided sleep sounded better then putting together a dinner.

I'm down 4 pounds from where I was on Sunday. But then again, I've lost this set of weight many times now. But I am determined to never see the number 188 on my scale again. Hopefully soon I'll never the number 180 anymore either. ;) I got up at 4 AM this morning so I could get an hour on my exercise bike. I love exercising in the morning! I feel so alert the rest of the day (but I will admit to drinking a little more coffee then normal). It helps so much to pack my lunch the night before. I have the time to think it out and pack something healthy.

I love how much better I feel about my body then I did a year ago. I like to dress up. Josh seems to prefer me in jeans so I never get the chance to dress up. So a few weeks ago, I started wearing a dress about once a week to work. I love how I feel all day, pretty and flirty and fun. Since I was in my fat jeans all week, I have felt frumpy. I put on my regular jeans (my good butt jeans as Josh calls them), but then decided I wanted to dress up instead. So I did. The down side to that, is I don't like walking on my breaks in a dress (my thighs rub, not in a fat way, but just in a there is nothing to protect them from each other way with a skirt on). But since I woke up at 4 AM I decided its ok to miss my walks today. Besides, I'm going to Wal-mart tonight, so I'm sure I'll make up for it, especially if I don't get a list started.

I want to set a goal to help me get these last 10 pounds off, but I don't want to have so much pressure, that I fail. With the wedding last winter, I was so stressed that I didn't do well at all. I think that is why I fell into this slump for so long. I think it would be awesome to loose the last 10 pounds before summer ends. But I think my back up plan will be to hit my goal weight by week 100 (but hopefully before then.)
Vanessa was talking on facebook how she wants to be an example to other mothers that it is possible to have children, but still loose the baby weight, plus more. I want to be an example to others too. 1) I was explaining PCOS to my grandma and how being overweight is a symptom/side effect of it. But I was telling her how I was inspired by others with PCOS who were loosing weight. Now I want to be that person to inspire others. IT IS POSSIBLE. Yes, I have to work harder then the normal person, but the results have been so worth it. I would rather exercise every day the rest of my life vs. going back to letting PCOS control my life and my body.
But also 2) I want to help other realize that you can find time to exercise. Even just 30 minutes a day is better then zero minutes a day. I know people think I'm insane when I get up at 4 AM to exercise, but really, its only ONE hour less of sleep. Only ONE. I can go to bed a little earlier the night before, or maybe I go to bed earlier that night after getting up early. Or maybe I don't miss that one hour at all. There is 24 hours in a day, can't you spare just 30? The body I want is going to take sacrifice, I can spare at least 30 mins a day. I like to do more than that, but when I'm busy, or even tired, I still want to find that 30 mins for myself and the body I want to have. One of my favorite sayings is "Nothing taste as good as skinny feels." I need to find a clever saying that says something like missing a little sleep/relaxation/etc is nothing compared to how good skinny feels. I'm so close and it does feel good.

Motivational Sayings

A few things from the monthly company newsletter:

Movement mantras:
When you start to lose momentum, a short motivational saying that you repeat again and again in your head may help you to push through and finish your workout or competition. Here are a few to consider:

"I can do this. I can do this."

"Its it's to be, it's up to me."

"I am stronger than this."

"The body achieves what the brain believes."

"Quitting is not an option."

"Dig deep. Breathe deep."

"Just keep swimming/walking/running/pushing. You've got it."

"Success is a decision you make."

"You don't fail until you stop trying."

Here is a few I want to add:

"Nothing taste as good as skinny feels."

"Even at a slow pace, you are still passing everyone on the couch."

"Forget about getting skinny. Eat well & exercise. The weight will take care of itself."

"Eat right rule: If your food can't go bad, its bad for you. If your food can go bad, its good for you."

"Sweat like a pig to look like a fox."

"Suffer the pain of discipline or suffer the pain of regret."

"Every once of padding came in through my mouth."

"Sweat is your fat crying."

"Whether you think you can, or you can't, your right."

"If your tired of starting over, quit giving up."

"Don't just talk about it, be about it."

"I bust mine so I can kick yours."

"Your only one workout away from a good mood."

"I never regret it when I do it. I only regret it when I don't."

"Losing weight makes you look good in clothes. Exercise makes you look good naked."

"Its not how good you are. Its how good you want to be."

"Ok, I know I'm not fat, but I have fat that I need to loose."

"The pain of being overweight is far worse then the pain of working out."

"A poor diet can waste all that effort in the gym."

"If you aren't working for it, then maybe you don't deserve it."

"It took more then a day to put on. It will take more then a day to take off. MOVE!"

"A year from now, you will wish you had started today."

"Yesterday you said tomorrow."

"Wake up with determination. Go to bed with satisfaction."

"The only one you can tell you that you can't do it is you. You don't have to listen."

"Don't quit. You're already in pain. You're already hurt. Get a reward from it!"

"If you went running/walking when you first started thinking about, you'd be back by now."

"The voice in your head that says you can't do it is a LIAR."

"Don't look pretty to exercise. Exercise to look pretty."

"The No. 1 reason people quit is because they look how far they've got to go, not how far they've come."

"Loosing weight is hard. Maintaining weight is hard. Staying fat is hard. Choose your HARD."

"Eat for the body you want. Not the body you have."

And my personal new one that I came up with while shopping last night:
"Hungry? There's a fruit for that."
Of course you could say "app"le, but I was buying cherries and mangos when I thought of it.

Today, I recommit myself to my diet. Today, I go back to Curves. Today, I start walking on my breaks again (if its too hot, I'll just walk in the warehouse like I did when it was too cold in the winter). Today, I start watching my portion sizes again. Today, I rediscover fruits and veggies. Today, I start working my butt back off again. Because today, I'm wearing my fat pants and I'm not happy about it!

Week 67

I was too busy this week to go to Curves. I hate when I have weeks that have something every single night. I don't get my exercising in and I fall behind on sleep. I also think my lack of exercising is taking a toll on me, I haven't gained weight, but I've gained inches cause my pants are really tight. I saw somewhere on line that 5 pounds of fat is about the size of 3 grapefruits. Whereas, the size of 5 pounds of muscle is only the size of 3 tangerines. Yep, I believe that now. Time to get my butt back in gear.

Week 66

I was too lazy to exercise this week.