Week 69

"If it is improtant to you, you will find a way. If not, you'll find an excuse." LOVE this quote my sister posted on facebook! So true in many aspect of life, but for me, this is where I can apply it most to my life.

For the last few months, I have been a slacker at Curves. Well, a slacker at everything. But I've gotten my butt back in gear in the last two weeks, but especially so this week. Still, that slacking had a negative effect. Hence the wearing of the fat pants leading to me recommitting myself to this diet. I've been out of the fat pants all week, but my regular pants are still pretty tight.

This week, I decided to bite the bullet and do my Curves weigh in. I KNEW I would not like the results. But I couldn't hide from them. I did this to myself, I can blame no one else. The better I eat and the more I exercise, the better I feel and the better my clothes fit. When I don't eat well and be lazy, well, those positive results I had are just going to go the other way. I've been in Curves many times and heard people say they are going to skip their weigh in cause they know they've gone up. HELLO, skipping it doesn't do you any good. Face up to yourself and be accountable. Maybe seeing those numbers will be what you need to get back and work hard. So when J reminded me it was time to do my weigh in, I only hestitated for a second. Sure I could avoid it for a few weeks while I get back in shape, but I don't want to be that kind of person who tries to pretend nothing is wrong, or if I avoid its not real.

My measurements on 5/2/12.
Bust 39.50
Waist 32.00
Abdomen 36.00
Hip 42.50
Thigh 26.00
Arm 12.25
Weight 179.00 (lbs.)
BMI 30.72
Body Fat % 35.00
Body Fat 65.65

My measurements on 6/27/12.
Bust   39.50
Waist 33.00
Abdomen 36.00
Hip 42.50
Thigh 26.50
Arm 12.50
Weight 183.50 (lbs.)
BMI 31.49
Body Fat % 35.40
Body Fat 64.96

Results
Bust -0.00
Waist - +1.00
Abdomen -0.00
Hip -0.00
Thigh - +1.00
Arm - +.50
Weight - +4.50 (lbs)
BMI - +0.77
Body Fat % +.40
Body Fat - +2.31
Curves adds all the results together for a total gain of 2.50 inches and +4.50 (lbs.). So that means since starting Curves, I have lost a total of -2.00 inches and -.80 (lbs.)

I am determined that my next weigh in will look much better.

Here's my weekly log. It really has helped me watch my eating very well. I made it a personal goal to eat a fruit or veggie with every meal and did just that. :)

Thursday - Got up at 4 AM to do an hour on my exercise bike. I did just over 13 miles. Now I can go play tonight. ;)
Breakfast was coffee (a thermos and a half since I got up early) and a bagel with cream cheese. Around 10:00, I snacked on some grapes and drank a glass of water. Lunch was a salad (prebag mix with turkey, cheese, craisins, and crutons added) with snap peas and another glass of water. After lunch, I had a mint. Afternoon snack was the last few grapes I didn't eat this morning and a bag of cherries. I finished off another glass of water then had a diet coke about an hour later. Dinner was at Wendy's. I haven't been in YEARS. I remembered they had a southwestern salad I really liked, but they don't anymore. They have something similar, but I would have had to say hold half the stuff off of it and then it would have been almost like my lunch. So instead I order the chicken nugget combo. Then I didn't allow myself to super size anything. Small fries, small drink, small shake. After I finished my drink, I filled the cup back up with water. Surprisingly, its now 11:30 and I'm still up. I thought with getting up at 4 AM, I would have crashed hours ago. I'll admit I'm tired, but not anything like I thought I would be. Makes me want to exercise in the early morning more often. Maybe not daily, but still worth keeping in mind when I want to play at night.

I dressed up today simply because I felt like it. I've noticed I do that more often. I don't know what was different today, but for the FIRST time a coworker made a comment about it. I told her I just felt like it and pointed out that I've been doing it once a week or so. But I didn't want to go to Vernal in my skirt, so after work, I changed into shorts, which got more raised eyes and comments from her and someone else. I just said, "my weekend starts now," and left it at that. I love having a body I'm comfortable in. And it was HOT so I'm glad I went with the shorts.

Friday - This is MY day. Sometimes I stay up late Thursday either hanging out with friends  or cleaning house or whatever. I'm a night owl, but Josh isn't. So after staying up late, I sleep in on Friday. Josh has even started just texting me good morning so he doesn't wake me. I woke up around 8 AM, but even then, it takes me about another hour to "wake up". But it doesn't matter, cause its my day. Breakfast was 2 mangos cut up and coffee. By 10, it was already HOT, so I'm still deciding what I'll do for my exercise today. I also realized last night, I haven't planned any meals for this weekend and that could hurt my diet. I need to plan weekends out better. I also jumped on the scale this morning. Eating out makes me nervous, but I've worked to overcome my fear of some foods. Getting a small combo paid off, my weight is the same as yesterday.

Lunch was a spur of the moment picnic with Vanessa and the boys. I let her be in charge and I knew I had no worries because she is eating well too. She made us each a salad. Then she had a variety of other stuff. I ate cherries, peas, caramel rice cakes, a string cheese, a fruit drink. I might have missed something, but it was all healthy. After the picnic, we went to the splash park. On the drive home, I ate the rest of the cherries and finished my fruit drink. Dinner was the leftover taco meat over some Doritos with some pepperjack cheese. I also had a Mike's Hard Limeade and a glass of water. My exercise, well, lets call it low intense. I chased Valex around the park and the splash park. Then took a hike out the field to check on the horses. 

Saturday - Breakfast was a cup of coffee, a bagel w/ cream cheese and a bowl of frosted mini wheats. Then I took a nap (guess I got up too early). After I woke up, I had the rest of my coffee, which was only about half a mug. Lunch was 3 clementines, a large handful of snap peas and some cheddar cheese with a glass of water. That afternoon, I did 2 hours on my exercise bike and went 29 miles. Dinner was meatloaf and potatoes with a few cherries for dessert.

Sunday - I had a cup of coffee. Then breakfast was a tator tot breakfast casserole with three glasses of milk. I was pleased to get on the scale this morning. This is the first time in a LONG time when the scale has gone down on the weekend, instead of up. We didn't eat breakfast until about 11, so it threw the whole day off. I ate lunch around 3 which was meatloaf and snap peas and a glass of water. I have noticed, I don't drink much water when I'm home on the weekends. I have a special cup at work that I try to fill at least 3 times a day; I told Josh I'm going to get a second one to use at home. Its one of those really nice plastic cups with a straw and a lid. Around 5, we suddenly decided to go fishing, so my exercise ended up only being the walk from the truck to the lake, which was kinda far since the water is so LOW this year. When we got home, I was tired and lazy, so I just had a bowl of cereal for dinner.

Monday - Breakfast was coffee and 4 clementines. Lunch was a salad. I had an afternoon snack of a bag of cherries. At this point, I think I'm up to 4 glasses of water. Its a hot day and I've drank a lot of water. Dinner was some of the left over breakfast tator tot casserole. I forgot to go to the store after work to stock up on fresh produce. But I dug around in my cupboards and found some green beans to go with my dinner.
Exercise :) I walked on both my breaks and went to Curves. I'm still behind where I used to be there, but I'm working at getting back up to where I used to be. They are running a summer program and I committed to it. You set your own goals. I decided: Curves at least 3 times a week, walk 30 mins a day at least 4 times a week, and eat more fruits and veggies. I feel good about my self and recommitting to the body I want. I did have to laugh when one of the workers saw my goals. Most people set a goal to walk so many steps, but I chose to set a time limit instead. So when she first read it, she read it as 30 steps. I told her "Yep, I figure that is just enough to get from the parking lot and in here and back again." I think she wanted to call me lazy, but then I laughed and explained that it was 30 mins. a day.

Tuesday - I woke up about 3:55. I looked at the clock, thought about exercising, but rolled over. Five minutes later, Gaby was attacking my fingers. I decided, what the heck, just get up and exercise. So by 5:15 I had an hour on my exercise bike. :) I also drank a glass of water. Today, I had a dr. appt. to look at some warts, including one on my upper leg, so I wore a dress. I haven't worn this dress in like 7 years! Feels good. And actually, its a little big, so got to enjoy it while I can. I also decided, that afternoon, that I WANT to go to Curves, even though I rode my bike. So I'm doing that today too. ;)

Breakfast was coffee and a bagel w/ cream cheese. Around 10, I snacked on some clementines I had peeled earlier this morning and had a glass of water. Lunch was a salad with some snap peas on the side and a glass of water. I did make it to Curves and had a great workout. Dinner was going to be Subway, but everywhere in town thinks they need to close early, so instead it was Arby's. I had a chicken sandwich and a large jalepono bite with 2 glasses of water. Next time I will get a small jalepon bite cause I felt guilty the next day for that splurge.

Wednesday - Since I was out late last night, I got up at 4:30 this morning (I was too tired to shower last night). I'm dragging, hopefully I'll make it to bed early tonight. Breakfast was coffee and 4 clementines. Around 10, I was getting shaky (I think I have blood sugar issues sometimes). As I mentioned, no groceries meant no prepacked snacks. Someone had put donuts in the break room, so I decided to have one cake donut and some water. Lunch was a salad and a large diet coke (4 AM wakeup calls are getting to me). Dinner was meat loaf and the rest of the grean beans and a Exotic Berry drink.

Walked on both my 15 min. breaks. and made it to Curves where we did the weigh in I posted at the first of this post. I admitted to J I thought about sluffing my weigh in appt because I knew I wouldn't be happy with myself, but I knew it would only hurt me. We talked about how its important to not let it get out of control. Its better if I realize I've gained a few pounds and get back to work vs. ignorning it for a long time until you suddenly realize you've gained 20+ pounds. I love Curves and how they are committed to helping me. We also went over my results for the contest and I was able to add a petal to my flower and a W (for workouts) as my grass. They also have a bucket of water that you remove slips from for drinking water. Then the other big thing is a life size poster of a lady on the wall. As you loose weight, you get to pull a slip of paper off. A few people have done this and it looks like a skinny woman will be revealed underneath. I can't wait until I get to pull a few off. ;)

I wish I could find a loving and kind way to tell my loved ones I wish they would join me on this journey. Sometimes I think I come off a bit harsh. But I've had to be harsh with self to make it this far. I KNOW its not easy to exercise. I work 10 hours a day with a 45 min commute (and that's just one way) on top of that. So I'm basically away from home half the day. It is hard to find time, but even 30 mins is better then nothing. And I will admit, I LOVE food. LOVE it! I am a foodie through and through. But I've been able to cut back and make healthy choices and that has all lead to good results. I'm not starving all the time. The first few months is diffently the hardest. I was out of shape and my stomach was stretched way to big. (So maybe there was a few times I thought I was starving.) But the body is an amazing thing and it adapts so well. At first, it seems like a lot of work. It seems downright impossible. There has been so many times I've wanted to give up, throw in the towel and eat a large bowl of chocolate icecream. But I didn't. I pushed through it. Now it doesn't seem as hard. Plus, for me, exercising lifts my mood. I am more upbeat and positive on the days I work out. I think it has all helped make me a better person. You are the only one that can make this happen. Do it to be thinner. Do it to be healthier. Do it so you can play with kids without getting tired so easily or be able to hike and enjoy the outdoors. Do it so that hopefully in the future you won't have a big and scary health scare. There is so many reasons.

I am feeling much better about myself this week. It feels good to be working on myself again.