The other day I was visiting with someone and she asked how I had been loosing my weight. I told her I lost about 30 on Weight Watchers, 30 on my own and I've lost about another 10 on Curves. She then asked me if it made me sick to think that I had 70 pounds to loose. My first thought was, ya, it did. I was a fatty. But as I thought about it that night, I decided I don't feel sick over the fact I've lost 70 pounds.

I LOST 70 POUNDS!!!! That is no easy thing to do. It was by far much easier to put on. I will not be disgusted with myself for LOOSING weight. I will shout it from roof tops: I lost weight and so can you! I'm not making a sales pitch, I'm just trying to share the truth. I was sick over the fact that I was FAT, but now that I've done something about it, I'm not sick or ashamed. I am proud.

I do hope to loose just a little more. Just one pant size would be nice. But at least I'm to a point where I can be proud of myself and enjoy my body. I used to hate my body. That made me hate myself. That affected my relationship with others. It was not a good place to be.

As I've lost weight, I've been able to unbury myself. I am amazed at how much better I feel. I love life more. And I don't think its just because I feel skinny. I think loosing weight has helped me gain confidence in myself and it has made me better in other ways too.

I know I get vane at times. But I think I've earned it. I worked my ass off over the last 18ish months. It was hard, and it still is. Some mornings, I jump out of bed at 4:30 am with no problem. There are other days I have to drag myself to Curves. But I know if I don't do it, I will regret it. I know if I DO do it, I will be happy with myself and that much closer to my goal. My health is my #1 priority now. If I don't think I have time for a workout, I FIND it. Its only 30 minutes.

I love it when my husband tells me how sexy I am now. I love the sexy pj's I found to wear to bed each night. I'm not going to take up pole dancing, but I feel like I have the right to show it off a little. I am no longer ashamed of my body.

Its been hard. So HARD. But so worth it.