A Few Things

So there is a few things I want to expand on.

1- I've told a few people I rejoined Weight Watchers and have felt like they are throwing me into the category of: lost it but didn't keep it off. I hate that. I've worked so hard to not be one of those people.

I'm only up 7 pounds. Not even a pant size; I'm still in the same size I've been wearing since my lowest point.

This is about me pushing to be my best and to loose a little more. Not super model skinny, just not quite so round in the middle. I love how I looked, most of the time. But I want to feel sexy even when I'm naked.

I know people who loose and gain and loose and gain and loose and gain. I don't want to be like that. This is a life time commitment I've made to myself. But also, I can see who that happens to people. Some days it is so HARD. I'll have an occasional shake for dinner and it tastes so good that I'll want one every night. This spring, I discovered salt & vinegar chips and I tried to make up for a lifetime of never having them.

The point is, I'm human. I can mess up. Its up to me to let it be a slight slip or a big fall off candy mountain. I love food. I love it when I need comfort. Or to celebrate. Or to just catch up with friends. I just have to work on my self discipline and control.

2- Weight Watchers screws with my relationship with food. Before, I would try to earn enough activity points to cancel out at least one (or two) of my meals. Often, I would even skip lunch so I could walk and earn more points. Or I'd eat lots and lots of fruits because they were free points, but let that be an entire meal. I never touched my weekly points.

Sorry, for those not familiar with the system. Each week you get x amount of points. I think my high end was 36, right now it is 28 (which I think is the lowest they go). This changes based on your weekly weight in. Then you also get 49 extra points each week, so you can splurge or whatever. Each week starts fresh, you can't roll over any extras. Like I said, I rarely, if ever, dipped into mine and I don't recall ever using them all up in one week. Last, you can also earn extra points by being active. I'm still logging my activity points because I like to show I'm exercising, but I'm not skipping lunch to earn even more.

This time around, I am making sure I eat all of my daily points and sticking to my regular workout (which is currently walking the dog). No trying to sneak in extra activity points. And if I reach the end of my daily points, I don't stop eating or run out and exercise for extra. Weakly points are not my enemy, they are there to catch me. I'm not using them daily, but I've tipped into them a few times. My emotional self tries to freak out, but I won't let it.

So why did I rejoin Weight Watchers if it messes with me like that. Because its a system that I believe works. Portion control is one of my BIGGEST pitfalls. This helps me keep my portions in perspective. It also helps me choose between French fries or a salad.

3- I'm also trying to remember this about creating a better me overall, not just how I look. So I'm working hard to be nicer to coworkers, keep my house in a clean fashion and get along better with family. Because lets face it, I'm not perfect, but I want to be.


4- And because I have severe OCD, I figured it out. This is week 124 since I started my weight loss journey. Which makes me feel better about the first thing I mentioned in this post. Now I can just title them with that number instead of starting over with 1.