Week 50

I seriously thought about not getting on the scale today.  I don't think I've been on it all week. But then I knew I wouldn't do my weekly update. So then I decided if I did want to update. I am so frustrated right now. I haven't lost any weight since Christmas. I just keep putting on the same 5 pounds, but now I've been stuck on that for a while too. I don't even feel like I can tell people I've lost 60 pounds, because I haven't ever been that low again. So technically, I've only lost 56, but that just makes me mad.

This wedding stuff has stressed me out so much. I've been trying to deal with infertility issues and its really getting to me. I think I have fallen back into comfort food, that I don't need. But I just keep getting worse. I find myself hungry all.the.time. And I'm getting sick of it. What has happened to me? I was doing so good.

Each night I promise to do better tomorrow. Each morning I start out with good intentions. But then I see someone has brought treats to work, and I have one or sometimes two. Then I pig out and lunch. Then have another treat. Then pig out at dinner. I was NOT going to do this!

I'm really thinking about joining Curves. I WANT to join Curves. I just don't want to have to drive myself to work every.single.day. But if I join, I will go every night, so I will have to drive myself. Right now, I just can't commit financially to that. I can afford the Curves fee, but I can't afford to fill my tank every other day. So I'll reevaluate things in March and see if it can be an option then.

I just need to refocus. Get through this busy month and then restart. I can do this. I want to loose 20 more pounds, I want to weigh in the 150-160's. That is my goal. I can do this.