Monday, September 4, 2017

Weight Loss 2.0

When I last blogged here, back in 2013, I was at the lowest in my weight I had ever been, around 175. But then life got busy, I got lazy, the excuses piled up and eventually the weight came back on. 
Last year, I went through a divorce. I quit eating and then picked up running to deal with the pain. I dropped 50 pounds in about 4 months. (It was probably a few weeks before I actually stepped on a scale, but it was 248 when I finally did. Which if I remember correctly is just about what I weighed back in 2011 when I started that weight loss journey.) Earlier this year, I saw 199.8, once or twice, on the scale, but it would only last for a day or two.
This year, I have learned, when I'm happy, I eat more and work out less. When I'm depressed, I run. I've slowly put 10 pounds on and gone back up a pant size. Yay for happiness. Boo for weight gain.
The first picture is July 2016 at my brothers wedding, a week after the ex left for another woman. 

This picture was from yesterday. I love seeing my transformation. Because of my little makeup biz, I take a selfie nearly every day. When I feel like I've made no progress, I can go through old pictures and be amazed at the changes I see. And not just in weight loss. I see a woman who has found her strength and confidence. I love seeing the woman I have become. 

Years ago, when I did my weight loss, I kept this blog. But I was ashamed of my body, so I left details out. I always regretted that. I wish I had better documented it so I could better track the results. So this time, I am going to be real. I currently weight 208.2. Even though its better than the 248 I was at last fall, its still a number I'm not happy with. I want to get back down to 175. I know I can do it, because I did it once before. 



Current weight: 208.2
Measurements:
Neck 16 in.
Upper arm - left 14 in.
Upper arm - right 13 in.
Upper chest - 44 in.
Chest/nipple - 45 in.
Diaphragm - 39 in.
Waist - 40.5 in.
Abdomen 42 in.
Butt - 47 in.
Upper thigh - left 28 in.
Upper thigh - right 28 in.
Upper knee - left 22 in.
Upper knee - right 21.5 in.
Calf - left 18.5 in.
Calf - right 18 in.

I've never been a fan of measurements. They are a hassle and I never feel like I do them correctly. But I do understand the importance of them. Last fall, there was times the scale wouldn't move, but my pants would get looser, so I started tracking my measurements and I could see a loss there, even when there wasn't one on the scale. So this time, I plan to track my measurements. (Probably once a month.)

This time, I want to make it a journey about loving myself, no matter my size and shape. God gave me this wonderful body to love and care for. When I don't take care of it, its like I'm telling Him I don't appreciate the beautiful gift of life He has given me. He and I recently had a conversation about this. I was getting a headache nearly every day. When I finally took it to prayer, He asked me, "When was the last time you drank a glass of water?" I didn't even know. I've learned I can't complain about my body and how I feel if I do nothing to take care of it. Only I can hold myself accountable for my decisions and actions. One of my favorite sayings is "Jesus in, Jesus out." It reminds me that what I feed my mind with, I return out into the world. I think the same can be said here, "garbage in, garbage out." When I treat myself badly, I feel badly. When I love myself and properly care for myself, I feel good. 
I've been half heartily exercising the last few weeks. I'm still trying to find a schedule that will fit with my job and my schooling. So my workouts may vary until I find that balance. I have a love/hate relationship with running.  I hate running, but it helped me process the pain and not do physical harm to myself during the divorce. It was my healthy outlet. It taught me I can do hard things, things I once thought were impossible. When I run for a mile straight, or 30 minutes straight, I am so proud of myself and I realize that I can do this.

Today, I declare enough is enough! Its time to get back to a healthy weight and a healthy mind set. 

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